I used to be....

I used to be skinny.  Like really skinny.  I used to be fit.  Like really fit.  I used to be a lot of things i guess.  I sit here now and i try to find the common denominator that has made those statements 'used to'.
Most people who know me, but dont really know me, well they will say one of two things in reply to those statements.
1.  You had kids
2.  You're getting old.
I can sit here and accept those reasons, but they arent reasons...they are a cop out.  I didnt get fat because i had kids.  And i didnt get unfit because i had kids.  I was both of those before kids, and being old is just a lame excuse.
The common tie is my job.   Again, this is another used to.  I used to like my job.  But i cant lie, my job has made me fat and unfit.  You would think that being  a member of the defence force that i would be the complete opposite.  I should be super fit and skinny, a smoking hot bod and an attitude to match!!  Bom bom!!

You see those ads on tv advertising the defence and wow...they make me want to sign up.  What was the number again?!!  The reality is much different let me assure you.  I spend my job sitting at a desk.  Eating and googling and watching the clock.  Way to defend the country.
Oh but i shouldnt complain right?  What a job, you do nothing.  Yea its ok for the first couple of days, but you end up running out of things to google.

When i first joined the defence, yup i had a smoking hot bod and an attitude to match.  I even shaved all my hair off like Demi Moore in G.I Jane!! (it wasnt really consented to, i didnt think i had a choice!!).  I remember training so hard to get into recruit school....i worked in a very physical job to start with but each night after work i would go for a super long run along the river along with crunches and pushups.
Recruit school wasnt as tough or physical as i was expecting.  The hard part is being away from family.

As a result, when i graduated the first words out of my mum's mouth when she saw me - "Geez Belinda, you got fat".  Cheers mum.
The rest is history.   I basically sat on my ever expanding arse and ate and drank the days away.  I could have got off it and been proactive.  I wasnt.
Even going out and working on a ship, my job still required me to sit on my arse.

So I used to be skinny.....I have even been one of those lame people who have clung onto a pair of jeans that i will one day fit back in to.  Deep down i know that i wont.

Maybe its time to stop whinging about it and lamenting on the 'used to'......